The Best Approach

So, I have a friend that I've been friends with since my sophomore year in college.  About 3 years ago, she told me that she was a les.bian.  I had no idea, all through college, she dated a guy.  The guy and her broke up about 4 years ago, she seemed upset about it to me.  Well, shortly after that is when she told me that she was going to start dating women.  Fine, I don't agree with it, but I don't judge people, we are still friends.

Fast forward to this past weekend, she came to visit.  We hadn't really hung out since she started her new lifestyle.  We've continued to talk with one another, but again, we hadn't really seen one another or hung out.  I have to admit, in the back of my mind, I was wondering if it would be weird hanging out with her again, but when she got here, everything was cool.  We went out to eat, talked, watched some movies, visited my family, all the typical things we've always done as friends.  Then, we went out, and that's when things go weird, for me.  We got there, (my best friend was with us also), she asks us if we want something to drink.  Not in the 'girl I'm getting something to drink do you want something' way, but like when I go out with my boyfriend, and he asks me if I want a drink, whether or not he's drinking.  I was sure that she was going to get something too, so I accepted the offer, thinking, next time, I'll buy.  But that wasn't going to work, because she didn't get anything to drink.  Well, I drink my wine, and she asks if I want anything else?  I kind of wanted another drink, but I didn't want her to buy it for me, and then I didn't want to buy my own drink for fear of hurting her feelings or something.  Then, the dancing.  Now, when I dance with my friends, we are typically facing one another, and not dancing very close.  But when I dance with my dude, it's a little more intimate.  Well, she was kind of dancing on us (La and I) at the table a little more closely than I was comfortable with.

Well, she asked me if she could come and visit again sometime next month.  I told her yes, and I'm absolutely fine with it, with one condition.  She has to treat me as though we are friends when we go out.  Just like she does when we are at my house, or at a restaurant, or a grocery store.  I have no problem with her lifestyle choice, but don't bring me into that.  When we go out, I am going out with my friend, who is also a girl, don't treat me like I'm a woman and you are a man.  I'm not quite sure how I'm going to address it, but address it I must... 

I'm Random...

• When I go out, I am sooo wrong, I take (or try to take) pictures of all of the foolery that I say...
• I tweet the foolery too (although I didn't this past weekend, cause twidroyd was on probation)...
• Simba is really growing on me (especially when he isn't at my house :-))
• Kind of excited to go to Jamaica again!!!
• Bills, Bills, Bills....they never stop...
• I am proud of the progress I've made on my bills in only 2 months this year, I WILL stick to paying off debt...
• A friend of mine posted on FB that everyone's broke is different...Broke to me may be $200, broke to you may be $50, if I say I'm broke, I'm broke...
• Why are people so judgmental of one another???
• I'm eating healthier every day...
• Trying to remember that getting healthy is a marathon, not a sprint...
• I am sooooooo looking forward to saving the money that I pay to credit card companies each month...
• Ju.st Da.nce is great for cardio...And it's fun, especially when competing against someone...
• I bought finger nail polish 2 weeks ago, I have yet to polish my nails...
• My laundry basket is overflowing...I need to get it together...
• I want to learn how to thread, so I can do my chin...it will be much quicker than plucking...
• I've made two smoothies this week...I'm going to be experimenting with different recipes...
• I read that a chick beat her roommate with a board because she gave her thin mints away...girl scout cookies are serious business...

Boring...

I feel like these weekly goal posts are boring.  So, I may only do a goal post once per month, I don't want to fall off though, so we will see.

Week 8 Goals...

Recap of last week:

1. Exercise 3 times. - PASS - I did it, I need to step my workouts up a notch, but I went!!!

2. No credit cards!!!! - PASS - I'm getting good at this, it needs to be a lifestyle change though...

3. Bring lunch twice!!  FAIL - I only brought my lunch once.  I'm going to blame it on Simba.  I stayed at Poetry's house everyday, and I never took the time to prepare anything to bring for lunch. 

4. Knit. FAIL - I did not knit last week, boo...

Goals for this week:
1. Knit :-).

2. Exercise 3 times.

3. No Credit Cards!!!

4. Bring lunch 2 times.

Just Say No

As I struggle to eat healthier, there are some things I've said no to this week, and I'm proud of myself.  So many times, I've tried just changing my habits overnight, and I end up right back where I started, or sometimes worse off.  So, my entire approach is different.  I haven't restricted anything in particular, I'm focusing on making small changes. Somethings I did not allow myself to indulge in this week:

1. Mountain Dew - I enjoy Mountain Dew, I like to say because of the caffeine, but in reality, I simply like it.  I'm taking a class that's 3 hours on Thursday's, and I get sleepy, so, I tend to drink a dew on those days, but this week, I just had water!!!
2. Breakfast Burrito - The cafeteria at my company makes breakfast burrito's daily, and you can personalize them.  I typically get mine with egg beaters, cheese, potatoes and salsa.  There are enough potatoes in the burrito for two people.  I wanted one on Wednesday, and I did not bring breakfast on this particular, but instead, I had a banana and oatmeal!!  Which is what I typically bring in, but I forgot it, so I just bought it from the cafeteria.
3. 25 cent wings - There are a number of places that have wing specials on different nights of the week here.  And last night Poetry told his sister that we would meet her out for some.  But I didn't have any!!!!  I had already eaten, and I was not hungry, so I didn't indulge!!!

Small victories, but I'm making progress!!

The Li.on King

Poetry got a dog this weekend.  When he first started telling me he was going to get a dog, I didn't understand why he kept asking me how I felt about it.  Wanting to know if it was going to adversely effect our relationship.  And me, with my smart mouth, kept telling him, that's going to be 'your' dog.  Why would it effect our relationship.

Well, since he's here, I COMPLETELY understand why.  Training a dog is worse than having a new born, in my opinion.  If he's not in his cage, you have to have your eyes on him at all times.  If you leave him at home alone too long, he will poop in his cage, and he has to clean that crap up.  He needs to be taken out regularly, or he will pee on your carpet.  He has to know what he can and can't do, and has to be reminded, EVERY few minutes.  No sleeping through the night, nothing.

I have admit, I've made a connection with the little guy, who Poetry calls Simba, but he isn't 100% sure that's what he wants his name to be.  I told him I would help him out, but I find myself not wanted the little guy to be in his cage the entire time Poetry is at work.  I work during the day, he works at night, so I went over there last night after my workout, I woke up at 3 am to let him out.  Good thing too, he went almost immediately.  Then he thought it was time to play, sorry buddy, it's time for bed. 

I have respect for anyone who has trained a dog on their own.  Especially a well behaved dog.  After seeing all that it takes, I'm not sure if I'll ever get a dog on my own.  One thing I have to say is, now that I realize 'why' Poetry kept asking me how I felt about it, it makes me appreciate him even more.  He could have the attitude that he wants a dog, and I can deal with it or keep moving, but he is super concerned about how the situation is going to change the dynamics of our relationship.  He's made it clear that he will give that dog up if need be, that makes me want to help him more :-). 

Week 7 Goals

Recap of last week:

1. Join the gym near my house.  PASS - Well, I haven't joined yet, but I singed up for a 2 week free trial, and when my two weeks are up, I am going to join!!

2. No credit cards!!! PASS - and this week was hard to, cause there were a million things that I wanted to get Poetry for V-Day, but I got what I could afford, and kept it moving!

3. Do not eat out for dinner (on a weekday). PASS - I did not eat out at all last week. 

4. DC/Hot Oil - FAIL - I went to wash my hair, and didn't have any shampoo with me, and was too lazy to go and get some.  So, I will do this tonight!

5. Exercise 3 times.  PASS!!!!! Super excited that I actually worked out, at the gym, 3 times last week, I also played volleyball. 

Goals for this week:

1. Exercise 3 times.

2. No credit cards!!!!  A friend of mine is coming to visit, and we have plans to go out with La on Saturday, but, I'm not using a credit card, I WON'T DO IT!!!

3. Bring lunch twice!!  I don't think I brought lunch twice last week, I did once though.  I don't want to get back into the habit of eating out for lunch everyday again.

4. Knit. I have not been knitting, I have a project that is almost done, I need to get with it.  Even if  I just knit a little bit.

I Can't...

I've expressed on here how I'm trying to get out of debt, I have expressed this to my family and friends as well.  I will leave out this persons relation to me, I don't know why, the people that know that read this blog will know who I'm talking about, and the people that don't, well they won't.  Anyway, I think I won't feel as bad talking about it.

Well, the person I'm speaking of, has been living check to check FOREVER (just like me, but who's counting).  Said person, has expressed a desire to stop this lifestyle.  To get out of debt, and live comfortably.  Well, I was asked to allow this person to put a TV on my credit card, and they would make the payments.  Ummm, you are already robbing Peter to pay Paul.  You and your significant other are stressed because of money.  What makes you think you can afford another bill?  And what makes you think I'm willing to take that risk?  Although my financial situation is very sad, my credit score is not.  And you want me to risk, having pay another bill, or letting my credit score take a hit, because you want to buy a TV that you can't afford.  Yeah, ummm, no. 

On top of me feeling like you just aren't thinking, I would be enabling you.  I am in the situation I'm in, because of a can't wait attitude.  You are in the situation you are in, because of a can't wait attitude.  We will never get rid of our financial woes if we continue down this path.  Granted, our attitudes need to change, or we will be in this situation FOREVER.  So, don't get upset with me when I tell you no, I'm trying to help you.  And in helping you, I'm helping myself.  Showing me, exactly why I have the amount of debt that I have.  I didn't want to wait until I could save up enough money to buy whatever it was that I wanted.  Or take whatever trip was coming up next.  I just did it, with the attitude that I would deal with the consequences later.  I am happy that I am taking the steps now, so that I don't get into a situation that I can't get myself out of.  It is going to take me some time to get out of the mountain of debt that I have accumulated for myself, but, I am going to take as much as needed so that I don't get myself into this situation again. 

Week 6 Goals

Recap of last weeks Goals:

1. Bring lunch 2 times this week! - Pass, sort of.  I brought my lunch one day.  One day, the office was closed due to weather, so I ate at home. 

2. Exercise 4 times. - FAIL - I did not work out at all... :-(

3. Deep Condition/Hot Oil treatment. - FAIL - Well, I'm giving myself a pass, because I straightened my hair last week, and it is still straight (because of my failure of #2).  I've greased my scalp and my hair seems happy.  I will not apply anymore heat to it though, so whenever it has to be washed I will deep condition/hot oil. 

4. No credit cards!!!! PASS - I passed again.  AND, I paid off a loan!!  I'm on a roll, well, I didn't owe very much on this loan, but still, I have less debt, and I can apply the payment from the loan to something else.  I'm determined!!

5. Count Calories.  I have fallen off of counting calories.  Although I am eating much better, I need to pick this back up, holds me accountable!FAIL - I didn't count not 1 calorie. 

Goals for this week:

1. Join the gym near my house.  I know I've said in the past that I wasn't going to join a gym, however, it will basically be free.  I will have pay 3 months at a time, but then my job reimburses me, I think it's worth it.

2. No credit cards!!! 

3. Do not eat out for dinner (on a weekday).  I ate out for dinner, EVERY NIGHT last week...not a good look.  I didn't spend a lot of money, but that is still unacceptable. 

4. DC/Hot Oil - This will need to get done at some point this week.

5. Exercise 3 times.  I WILL get back on the wagon of working out.  It just has to happen.

I Wanna Run...

I want to start running again.  With the snow, and extreme cold temperatures, I can't bring myself to start.  I am truly looking forward to warmer temperatures to get my feet hitting the pavement!  I will start with the couch to 5k program, and work my way up.  After I'm running a decent 5k, I will begin looking into training for a half marathon.

I'm looking into joining a gym again, I will join one that will basically be free though.  My job will reimburse us up to $20 a month for a gym membership, and there are a few clubs here that have fees of $20 a month or less.  They, of course, are not the huge gyms with all of the amenities you could ever want.  They will suffice for allowing me to get some weight training in.

My new attitude is proving to be just what I need to win this race that I have with weight loss.  I haven't had any amazing weeks of loss, however, I don't feel stressed out, I don't feel anxious about falling off the wagon.  I'm remembering that it's a marathon, not a sprint.  I didn't gain this weight overnight, and I'm surely not going to lose it overnight.  And if I do lose overnight, I truly believe I will gain it back, with a couple added pounds!  I'm slowly learning to make better decisions.  Patience, that's the key for me.