Growing Pains...

Well, my honey and I are experiencing some growing pains.  It's not new anymore, we are getting to truly know each other.  Where we aren't constantly excited about our potential.  We are truly being ourselves around one another.  I know all relationships have this time.  The time where you truly find out if this relationship will stand the test of time.  We both knew it would come, we both knew this would be the true test.  In ALL my years of dating, I have never been more certain that we would make it through this time.  That we would continue to talk, work through our misunderstandings, and miscommunications.  That we can allow each other to be, without taking every little thing personally.  So while things aren't all lovey dovey, I am happy, and peaceful, that we can argue about something simple, get to the root of the issue, and still love and respect each other!

Shacking Up...

I've lived with a guy once, and it lasted about two or three months before he moved out.  I don't remember the exact reason why I made him move out, but living together, in my mind, wasn't all I thought it would be.  I remember he didn't treat 'our' place like his place, basically, it was like he was staying the night all the time.  So, what's the purpose of you 'living' here if it feels like your visiting, I'll pass. 

That was my one and only experience living some a guy that I was in a relationship with.  Well, Poetry and I are considering it.  We've been together 9 months, we spend every night together anyway.  He's basically giving away his rent and utility money every month.  We would go back and forth to each others place for a while, but that got old.  I would forget things that I needed at his place.  I got tired of packing a bag, blah blah blah.  So, I stopped saying anything about us going to his house, and he didn't either.  Well, fast forward a few months, and its like, if we are going to be at my house all of the time anyway, you might as well move in. 

Thinking about the extra money assisting in me shopping getting out of debt seemed like icing on the cake for the whole thing. 

He still has to deal with the house that he's renting since his lease isn't up until January.  The rental company will simply make it available, when someone wants it, then he's out of his lease.  So he will still have to pay rent there, but then that's no different than what he does now. 

I've weighed the pros and cons of the situation, and I'm ready to take the step. 

Social Network Love

** Let me start by saying, I have been guilty of the very thing I am going to talk about. **

Why do we (myself included), as adults, feel the need to let the world into our lives.  Specifically, our personal lives.  We meet someone, we update our twitter, fb walls, whatever, telling the world how great our dates are, how this guy is different, and so on.  We make it official, and immediately update our relationship status, sometimes even linking our significant other on our page.  Things are going great, everyone in our circle, even lurkers, know that I'm in love.

Then, there's a hiccup in our relationship, we stop posting about the miraculous-ness of our significant other, we start posting more insightful things. Then, when it's over, really over, we change our relationship status back to single, or hide it, or anything we can think of to save face.  After some time, when we think no one will notice, we start posting about the joys of being single.  How we are a great catch, and anyone who let us go lost out on a good thing.

Now, I won't lie, when I'm feeling like being nosey, I'll go to a distant associates page, to see what is going on with them.  And I will look through their wall, pictures, information, just to see what's going on in their lives.  And it's crazy to me just how much I can find out without speaking to said person, or someone close to them.  

We meet someone new, the cycle continues.  Now, I can't say that I've done EVERYTHING mentioned above, but I've seen it done by so many people, it perplexes me.  And having done that foolishness once, I have not done it again.  I won't say that I will NEVER change my relationship status, hopefully one day it will ready MARRIED.  Until then, it's not necessary to change it, in my opinion.  If you aren't close enough to me to know that I'm in a relationship without looking at my fb relationship status, then guess what, it's none of your business. 

Now let me say this, I don't see anything wrong with updating your relationship status to being in a relationship, if you truly believe that relationship is going to last.  But if you are updating your relationship status once a quarter, maybe you should give the relationship some private time, before putting it out there for the public to engage in.

Ah-well, to each his own I suppose...

The Li.on King

Poetry got a dog this weekend.  When he first started telling me he was going to get a dog, I didn't understand why he kept asking me how I felt about it.  Wanting to know if it was going to adversely effect our relationship.  And me, with my smart mouth, kept telling him, that's going to be 'your' dog.  Why would it effect our relationship.

Well, since he's here, I COMPLETELY understand why.  Training a dog is worse than having a new born, in my opinion.  If he's not in his cage, you have to have your eyes on him at all times.  If you leave him at home alone too long, he will poop in his cage, and he has to clean that crap up.  He needs to be taken out regularly, or he will pee on your carpet.  He has to know what he can and can't do, and has to be reminded, EVERY few minutes.  No sleeping through the night, nothing.

I have admit, I've made a connection with the little guy, who Poetry calls Simba, but he isn't 100% sure that's what he wants his name to be.  I told him I would help him out, but I find myself not wanted the little guy to be in his cage the entire time Poetry is at work.  I work during the day, he works at night, so I went over there last night after my workout, I woke up at 3 am to let him out.  Good thing too, he went almost immediately.  Then he thought it was time to play, sorry buddy, it's time for bed. 

I have respect for anyone who has trained a dog on their own.  Especially a well behaved dog.  After seeing all that it takes, I'm not sure if I'll ever get a dog on my own.  One thing I have to say is, now that I realize 'why' Poetry kept asking me how I felt about it, it makes me appreciate him even more.  He could have the attitude that he wants a dog, and I can deal with it or keep moving, but he is super concerned about how the situation is going to change the dynamics of our relationship.  He's made it clear that he will give that dog up if need be, that makes me want to help him more :-). 

Is It Too Late???

Now he wants to talk about how he needs to work and do better. How he wants to be with me and be happy for a long time. Is he sincere? Or is this just another, I'm going to be good until I know your feelings are back in it then I'll go back to my old self again? I honestly don't think he's going to change until I'm gone. I should think more positive, but with so much being wrong (in my eyes) he just can't change it all. I've been saying FOREVER that we moved too fast, and now he wants to agree. He asks me do I miss him (because he started working nights and we don't really see each other during the week anymore). I say, somtimes, but most of the time I'm just thinking about the problems that we have. We can't communicate, not productively. I don't understand him, he doesn't understand me. We never see eye to eye on anything. He's a good guy, I don't have any resentment towards him, the question I have for myself is, is it too late? Did I put up with too much BS in the beginning and now I don't want to work it out? It's to the point now where I kind of expect him to be perfect and that's unrealistic. I always say I'm stay in relationships until I'm done, and I feel like I'm there. Like no matter what he does, it won't be enough. Part of me wants to wait it out just to see if he actually will change, and part me feels like it will be a waste of time. Right now, we are together just to be together, and that is something that can't go on for too long, not with me. I want to be working towards something, and I no longer have the motivation for that with him. I'm going to give it a little more time to see what may come of it.