Reflection...

Ah, I turn 30 this year.  My life doesn't look like I expected it to at this age, but what can you do.  I find that when I reflect, I tend to focus on the things that I want, but don't have.  A husband, children, great savings, a job I love, or even like for that matter.  No doubt thinking like this puts me in a drab mood.  So, I'm going to write out why I don't have these things, maybe it will make me feel better.

1. A husband - Well, who wants to be married for the sake of being married??? Not me.  When I turned 25, I can recall thinking that I would start settling because I was worried that I would never meet anyone that would want to marry me.  Totally out of character thought for me, but it entered my mind.  Instead, I seen myself being even more critical.  Maybe it was because I knew what I wanted.  Maybe it was because I was realistic about the things I could and could not deal with in a mate.  Whatever the case, I am actually grateful that I am not married, because thinking back to my past relationships, none of those guys fit the bill.  Thank the Lord for hindsight.

2. Children - Although I believe I could be a decent single mother, the fact of the matter is, I don't want to be one.  I'm certain that I cannot imagine having an infant alone.  I know that I am not well rounded enough to instill all of the values that a child would need.  At this point in my life, I would love to have a child, the fact is, raising a child alone is hard work.  Probably one of the hardest things a woman could ever do.  So, until #1 happens, I would rather wait on #2.

3. Great Savings - Well, I have a good credit score, but savings, is just embarrassing.  While I am on the track to have enough money to start saving significantly, before now, any money that didn't go towards bills, was spent long before my next paycheck.  Be it on food, clothes, traveling, entertainment, you name it.  I had convinced myself that if I made more money, I would be able to save.  Turns out, the more I made, the less I saved, the more I spent.  I realized that my attitude about money had to change, or I would be in a rat race for the rest of my life.  So, I'm glad to say, that I have learned a great lesson, and I am on my way to making great financial decisions.  Until then, I am paying off my twenties so that I can save my thirties.

4. A job I love - Ahhh, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up.  I get frustrated even thinking about it, because I have no idea what it is that I can do to make money, that I would love.  Maybe I should take one of those quizzes that you take in high school.  One thing is for sure just because you get good grades in math and science does not mean that you should be an engineer, tell your children people.

Reflection is a great thing, now what am I going to do about #4????